Growing up with ADHD

I had a heart to heart conversation with a friend of mine today. I have entered into a new relationship of sorts, or at least that is the intention. Any loyal follower of me on twitter and those who know me off the interwebs have a DEEP knowledge that I have ADHD, and know that I am an advocate for knowledge and research as well as dispelling the myths of ADHD.

With all that being said, I am at a cross roads- let me preface this post by disclosing I have been drug free for almost 3 weeks, probably close to a month. I am not too sure where my head space is because I'm coming off an argument that was baseless... in regards to dishes, and in all honesty, prompted me to sit down and contemplate the idea of what does ADHD do to those of us who are living with the condition as adults.

Growing up with this, I've had the fortune of meeting some really understanding friends... but it has proven a damn difficult task when meeting new people, especially those who I choose to become intimate with.

At this point, it sometimes seems like an unbearable task to ask someone to deal with, but because I can't foresee myself waking up one day without the impulsiveness, without the lack of focus, without the childish ways it brings, without popping a pill to control the neurons and bridge the synapses, without overdosing on caffeine, sugar, and endorphins, etc.

Pause for the cause................................ the tears flowing down my face are uuber distracting.




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I initially stated out this post with the intention on writing about relationships, new relationships, intimate relationships, and those partners choosing to deal with the ADHD symptoms, complications, and frustrations. I have gone off the farm about it, but maybe I just needed to release the frustrations I am going through right now...

Maybe after the tears dry I can focus enough to say what I really am intending to... just right now, I am hurting, feeling as though I'm trapped my shortcomings and trapped by my feelings of being out of control of my own actions and reactions.

But, as I said, I shall revisit this whence I get it together.


while i wait, here are some twitter resources:

‏@adhdfacts

@ADHDAnswered

@ADHDAWARE

Women's HEALTH post

Last weekend was Houston Caribfest. The flags, food, concerts, music, and dancing was the most fun I've experienced in YEARS! Brought me back to Brooklyn hanging out until the sun came up at the backyard curryque or the soca fete. I almost lost my mind when Iwer George hit the stage that Saturday night. On his hit chune Come to Meh, he said, start to jump. I was already HYPED! KRUNK! READY!! I started to jump, MAAADDDD!

In that moment, in the midst of the adrenaline rush, the zealousness, my overall sheer excitement, there it came: that goshdoggone oops!! That dreaded, most embarrassing postpartum issue that women, especially young women, dare not speak on!

We've seen commercials with older women, heard about it in movies, maybe even overheard gramma and mom speak about it at the dining table with aunt so and so, but how often do we young women ever really discuss the real issue of INCONTINENCE?

Incontinence is caused by weak muscles or damage to the nerves in the urinary tract. As an issue affecting health and quality of life, incontinence is an issue that affects women and men alike, but more often older women, and those who have delivered children. Women experience incontinence twice as often as men. Pregnancy and childbirth, menopause, and the structure of the female urinary tract account for this difference. But both women and men can become incontinent from neurological injury, birth defects, stroke, multiple sclerosis, and physical problems associated with aging.

However, with a weak pelvic floor, women who have had children may have trouble with urine leakage because the uterus grows and in the process, strains the muscles supporting the uterus and bladder.

There are two main kinds of urinary incontinence. Some women have both.

Stress incontinence occurs when you sneeze, cough, laugh, jog, or do other things that put pressure on your bladder. It is the most common type of bladder control problem in women.

Urge incontinence happens when you have a strong need to urinate but can't reach the toilet in time. Overactive bladder is a kind of urge incontinence. But not everyone with overactive bladder leaks urine.

Stress incontinence can be caused by childbirth, weight gain, or other conditions that stretch the pelvic floor muscles. When these muscles cannot support your bladder properly, the bladder drops down and pushes against the vagina. You cannot tighten the muscles that close off the urethra. So urine may leak because of the extra pressure on the bladder when you cough, sneeze, laugh, exercise, or do other activities.

THE GREAT THING IS, among the options, THERE IS A NONINVASIVE CURE!!!

No pills, no surgery, no rejuvenation or tightening creams, just a couple of simple pelvic exercises. Kegels! As simple as a matter of squeezing the pelvic floor muscles, there are a variety of ways that this could be done.

One way to locate the muscles is to contract them during urine flow when urinating. You can also practice by clenching the muscles together on your partner’s penis during intercourse. There are also Kegel weights that can be used for continence and the added benefit of a strengthened orgasm.

It is recommended to have effective Kegel exercises that you hold for 3 seconds, release for 3 seconds, repeating for a total of 10 reps. Do this for 5 minutes a day. You can strengthen your lower pelvic muscles while sitting at your desk at work, in the shower, reading or watching tv WITHOUT ANYONE EVER KNOWING! They are safe to do during pregnancy also! This will help prevent the problem of urinary leakage post delivery, and also help with an easier delivery.

From WebMD: Performing Kegel exercises
First, as you are sitting or lying down, try to contract the muscles you would use to stop urinating. You should feel your pelvic muscles squeezing your urethra and anus. If your stomach or buttocks muscles tighten, you are not exercising the right muscles.
When you've found the right way to contract the pelvic muscles, squeeze for 3 seconds and then relax for 3 seconds.
Repeat this exercise 10 to 15 times per session. Try to do this at least 3 times a day. Kegel exercises are only effective when done regularly. The more you exercise, the more likely it is that the exercises will help.

The Mayo Clinic also comments on the exercises saying
It takes diligence to identify your pelvic floor muscles and learn how to contract and relax them. Here are some pointers:

Find the right muscles. Insert a finger inside your vagina and try to squeeze the surrounding muscles. You should feel your vagina tighten and your pelvic floor move upward. Then relax your muscles and feel your pelvic floor return to the starting position. You can also try to stop the flow of urine when you urinate. If you succeed, you've got the basic move. Don't make a habit of starting and stopping your urine stream, though. Doing Kegel exercises with a full bladder or while emptying your bladder can actually weaken the muscles, as well as lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder — which increases the risk of a urinary tract infection.

Perfect your technique. Once you've identified your pelvic floor muscles, empty your bladder and sit or lie down. Contract your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.

Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.

Repeat three times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day. You might make a practice of fitting in a set every time you do a routine task, such as checking email, commuting to work, preparing meals or watching TV.


There are tons of websites that discuss other options for continued issues relating to incontinence. You can check WebMD and google other remedies if Kegels aren’t effective in helping with your leakage concerns. With all medical conditions, consult your physician before starting any type of exercise routine or possible invasive treatments.


Also check out:

American Urogynecologic Society
2025 M Street, NW, Suite 800
Washington, DC 20036
Phone: 202-367-1167
Email: info@augs.org
Internet: www.augs.org

American Urological Association
1000 Corporate Boulevard
Linthicum, MD 21090
Phone: 1-866-RING-AUA (746-4282) or 410-689-3700
Email: aua@auanet.org
Internet: www.UrologyHealth.org

National Association for Continence
P.O. Box 1019
Charleston, SC 29402-1019
Phone: 1-800-BLADDER (252-3337) or 843-377-0900
Email: memberservices@nafc.org
Internet: www.nafc.org

The Simon Foundation for Continence
P.O. Box 815
Wilmette, IL 60091
Phone: 1-800-23-SIMON (237-4666) or 847-864-3913
Email: simoninfo@simonfoundation.org
Internet: www.simonfoundation.org

Bentonite treatment: Before, During, After

Bentonite mix:

6-8 spoonfulls of calcium bentonite

2-4 spoonfulls of soduim bentonite

A couple drops of tea tree oil

A BIG squirt of glycerin

coconut oil

A healthy squirt of honey

Apx 1/4 cup Rose Water

Apx 1/4 cup of AVC

Tap Water

You want to add the dry before you add the wet ingredients. Combine the clay and the oils. Then, add your rose water, ACV, and water. Mix in a PLASTIC container with a PLASTIC utensil.

You want the consistency to be thick, but thin enough to apply evenly. It will be slightly to moderately lumpy. That's fine.

After you wash and condition your hair, leave it wet. Take a small enough section of hair, and apply the clay from root to end, coating each strand.

Do this until your entire head is covered.

If you have any left over, its just as good to use on your face and neck.

Leave the clay on until it hardens, which may be about 30-45 minutes. Rinse thoroughly and moisturize and style as usual.

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I did my hair today!!!

And anyone who really knows me knows that's a negative on the average day. I typically DO NOT do my own natural hair styles. Like fast breaking tires on a speeding school bus SCREEEEECH

But today I did my own hair! I never thought that I would ever be able to two strand flat twist at all! BUT I DID IT! I made my own curl holding spray (all natural, mostly organic, earth derrived not chemically altered products) and twisted my curls into a cute little style that I hope lasts a little while. Enjoy! It would have taken forever to do a tutorial video on the style because I was washing clothes, making dinner, spending time with the man child, and then watching the grammy's all while trying to do my hair... that video would have been a sporadic hot mess! So instead, here are the pictures!

Uh oh, lessons plans still haven't been done... welp. There is always tomorrow as everyone is celebrating v-day. I'll be celebrating a victory with my new crush: my curls in my own hairstyle! YAY!!!!

First couple of flat twists

Flat twists up close/ i love this picture

Most of the front done

The front/ top is DONE

The back

The look on the side

Cute!!!

The top of my head

another pic i love!

Bentonite Face Mask, 2nd Attempt.

I put this make up on my face, and it looked quite good. My blemishes had momentarily disappeared. But, I'm going to cleanse my face and try this sodium bentonite mask one more time. I have my honey, my apple cider vinegar, bentonite, tea tree, and lemon grass with witch hazel.

Recipe:

1 table spoon of bentonite
1/2 tablespoon of honey
1 drop of concentrated tea tree oil
2 drops of concentrated lemongrass oil
2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 tablespoons of witch hazel

It will be chunky. MIX WELL. It's difficult to apply evenly with the chunks of clay- which I ran into on my first application.

pre wash with my make up on

post wash notice the blemishes

ingredients

mix

close up, immediately after application

about ten minutes into it.
it tingles A LOT

About 2 minutes ago
the smell is the saving grace

just before rinsing off. it was tight, hard, and annoying. i couldn't wait to get it off

skin so soft, yet tight. i think i found the perfect mix! now, hopefully it will help with the new pop ups and i'll find something for the blemishes.

Feeling a little cold/ flu coming on?

This post is dedicated to my sister in curls and Christ who is now, praise Jesus, with child, but is sickly with a cold. Being with baby can already be a miserable start up as in the case with C- my baby- y'all he almost took me OUT! But, there is hope, you don't have to suffer through the headaches, chest congestion, weariness, etc due to a cold. Say thank you Lord for natural remedies, baby bean safe.

Being the google queen I am, I found a host of natural cold remedies, but make sure you run anything you take- baby or otherwise- by your licensed professional.

COLD REMEDIES:
Cold remedies during pregnancy could include the consumption of garlic or ginseng or capsules with their extracts. Drinking plenty of fluids such as lemon juice and honey in warm water and hot soups will help relieve some of the symptoms like a sore throat. Gargling with salt water also helps ease the pain in the throat. Drinking hot ginger tea and warm milk with turmeric are also natural remedies that can be safely used by pregnant women.

COUGH:
Coughs, colds, and fevers may make the mother feel miserable and wear out her body, but they will not affect the baby. Even severe bouts of coughing will not harm the baby, so the mother does not have to hunt for cold remedies during pregnancy if she can manage the symptoms with sufficient rest and a healthy diet. It is best to keep the fever under control with medication, as indicated by the doctor.

CONGESTION/ STOPPED UP NASAL PASSAGES:
Herbal teas, mentholated lozenges, capsules of echinacea, and combination supplements of vitamins and micronutrients are all considered to b e suitable cold remedies during pregnancy. Vitamin C is considered a natural antihistamine as it helps to reduce the secretion of mucus and clears the sinuses. Aromatherapy oils such as peppermint, lavender, and elder flower can be used to alleviate nasal congestion.

The slightly sluggish immune system and enlarged mucus membranes during pregnancy sometimes make it difficult to get over a cold quickly. During pregnancy cold remedies should be chosen carefully. The one cardinal rule with cold remedies when pregnant (as with any other illness) is DO NOT self medicate - not even with over the counter medication that you're otherwise used to taking. Always, always check with your physician or gynaecologist before taking any cold remedies while pregnant at all as it may affect the foetus.

Finally, remember that prevention is better than cure; cold remedies are not as effective as taking some precautionary measures. Colds spread through contact, so your best bet is to keep away from people who are infected. Women who are most at risk are school teachers and health care workers. If you belong to these professions, keep in mind simple rules of hygiene such as washing your hands frequently and especially after handling an individual with a contagious infection. If any cold remedies do not work for over a week, do consult your doctor to rule out allergies, sinusitis, bronchial infections etc.

Thanks to http://www.home-remedies-for-you.com I found these natural products to help you get over a cold pregnant or otherwise. If you're anything like me, I hate taking strange chemical compounds to alleviate ailments I may have.

My go to cold treatment is an elderberry coctail. Elderberry tabs with zinc and vitamin C. A little echinacea and lavender to help open my sinuses. My mamma told me to put some tea tree oil on my forehead and scalp to alleviae headaches.
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Bentonite Clay

I got my bentonite clay today! YAY! I love Granery Street, the natural store- they have all kinds of wonderful vitamins, minerals, essential oils, every organic, natural product EVER- and with little mark up! I originally got it for my face, but after speaking to the man at Jack's in Longview, he said I could take it internally. Jack's charges 20 bucks for this same product I got at the Granery for less than $5.50!! I was concerned to use a hair mask because of the drawing agent that Bentonite is but I'm going to go for the gusto next wash. Thanks to my sister in curls telling me to check out youtube videos, I came across Black Onyx. Her videos are really great. The first one she was talking way too fast, but the information was insightful. The ones I posted are after her tutorials on making the hair and skin masks.



I did more youtube research, if you can call it that, and AFTER being creeped out by something called mucoid plague, I'm nervous to try the bentonite internally. BUT, I'm in the midst of actually looking at more info about it now.

In the meantime, because my face is constantly breaking out due to my ever increasing stress level, something has to give with these cheetah spots I have on my face. I had a good friend the other night look at my pix on facebook, and I was mortified because he hadn't seen me in a couple years, and the first thing he asked me was what was up with the acne on my face... I used to never break out like this... even when I was bearing C and my body was rejecting everything about him- especially in my face. My mom is such a good mommy, for Christmas, she got me a gift pack of Neutrogena Stress facial stuff.

A confession- I haven't washed my face with soap in ten or more years... and with few breakouts, scars, dark marks, etc. This is tripping me out because my face won't stop breaking out!!! So, today I washed my face for the first time in over a decade, literally.

But, I digress- the point I'm getting to: the tutorials in the videos didn't really indicate specifically- like step 1. WASH YOUR FACE... Step 2. Mix your product... Step 3. Apply, etc... you get the gist of where this is going. I don't know whether to wash my face first and then apply the clay mask or what.

I'm going to try and make a video I guess, washing my face with a very unnatural Neutrogena scrub and foam wash

and apply the clay mixture. I know somebody around here has some apple cider vinegar. My mamma used to give that to me during my 9 months to help lower my blood pressure- it didn't work, and tasted disgusting!


Oh, by the way. To cover my cheetah spots, I've been using Cover Girl True Blend... That junk can go on just as pale as the day is long, but two minutes or less, and the color is blended into my skin tone. I mixed a powder and a liquid with some pure maleleuca oil to possibly treat my acne while wearing the makeup... it was an effort. I'll see how it works, but the makeup blends great, and I love it. It's not thick and doesn't rub off easily on my clothes or on my hands.
UGH! For the first time, I actually have to care for my face. I liked being afforded a carefree-ness about my face... My hair was enough.




With this post being scatterbrained about Bentonite, look for a more concise, succinct video in the next few... days... weeks... um... yeah... about my first trial with the facial mask. I might even do one for the internal cleanse, because I probably will give that a go'fer. 

We Are Praying for you Uncle Bert

Uncle Bert on the left. Love you Unc

My Uncle Bert... I vividly remember riding back from Houston to Longview with my daddy and Uncle Bert in this truck... we all sat in the front seat because it was one of those old timey trucks that didn't have all that fancy stuff, especially two rows of seats. I sat in the middle the entire 3 1/2 hour drive from Houston on home. As Daddy and Uncle Bert told stories of whatever hilarious, wise, tall tales they were telling, we drove through all the towns between... Houston, Splendora, Livingston, Corrigan, Diboll... and we came to a town named BURKE. Uncle Bert began explaining to me how that was very much like his name, except it was spelled with a ERT instead of an URKE... That was so significant because as a child, I didn't have very much experience with my father's side of the family. It wasn't until my oldest brother, Bubba, was murdered in October 2009 that I really began to get to know my father, and the "other" side of the family. BUT, even between those times where communication lagged, Uncle Bert was still always my favorite uncle and in that little town, that even to this day that I drive through, when i see that sign that says BURKE, population.... so and so... I think of my uncle. (He actually had me confused for YEARS because I didn't know what the hayle he was talking about replace the urke with an ert- I mean years... as in last year, 2010 did I get it.)!

Always debonair

Uncle Bert was wild! Much like my spirit... but I was tame in comparison to those Sanders boys Just this past new years, we celebrated C's bday, and we all were out to Daddy's by the fire. He was telling us some hilarious stories!!!! I wonder if he had a chance to get that brand new leather jacket patched between then and now. (Inside story of snowballs, women, a chicken wire fence, and a brand new patch leather coat). Right now, I pray that Uncle Bert is making God laugh as surgeons are working on repairing the tear in his aortic valve. He had been taken to the hospital on Saturday because he was found in his home paralyzed on one side of his body and non verbally responding. Since then, he's been living on hospital food with a change of address of Mother Francis hospital. Today, my daddy let me know Uncle Bert was rushed into emergency surgery for a tear in his aorta. Around 1pm he went into surgery. I asked if I could do anything, and Daddy's reply was: "Just pray for your Uncle Bert." After teaching the remaining few periods, & getting a phone call from C's school letting me know he was hitting teachers and slapping little girls on their derrière, I had a headache the size of Houston, but I came home and cooked my chicken stew. C wanted to know how Uncle Bert was doing, so we called Dadd-O (my dad), and all I can hear Daddy say was "It doesn't look good." I went into chicken head mode... I ran off the internet, as best as you can "run off the internet," and began preparing to make way to move closer to family like a chicken with it's head cut off. I slowed down after doing the dishes, clothes, dealing with C's bedtime issues, and talking to my girlfriend. I began texting family and friends to pray for Uncle Bert. I posted a prayer on Facebook:

Lord, God almighty, hear the corporate prayers said over your son Bert Wayne that he may find comfort in you in this exact moment! Step inside of his room Lord, let your spirit fall fresh upon every1 involved in his care. Lord, hear us, as the prayers of the righteous avail much. Be a balm in Tyler TX! In Jesus name, Amen!

Forever in that hat! 

I am now asking anyone who reads this blog, who reads this post, and believes in the mighty hand of Jesus working a miracle to either leave a prayer or say a prayer on behalf of my uncle as he is fighting for his life. The tear in his valve has been repaired, but the doctors cannot stop the bleeding nor can they end the leaking.  Please, Lord God, in all your holiness, and in your magnificence, step in, hold my uncle's heart in your hands, and heal him by your stripes. In our prayers Lord, hear our humble cries. Fall fresh upon Uncle Bert Wayne Lord. Allow him another day to do your work Jesus. We continue to pray for you to work a miracle.

MY DADDY JUST LET ME KNOW, GOD IS A HEALER! MY UNCLE IS IN ICU!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH! THANK YOU JESUS!

Bert is out of surgery in icu hes got a long way to go but God is in the blessing bizness

Please keep praying please, because it ain't over!