I had a heart to heart conversation with a friend of mine today. I have entered into a new relationship of sorts, or at least that is the intention. Any loyal follower of me on twitter and those who know me off the interwebs have a DEEP knowledge that I have ADHD, and know that I am an advocate for knowledge and research as well as dispelling the myths of ADHD.
With all that being said, I am at a cross roads- let me preface this post by disclosing I have been drug free for almost 3 weeks, probably close to a month. I am not too sure where my head space is because I'm coming off an argument that was baseless... in regards to dishes, and in all honesty, prompted me to sit down and contemplate the idea of what does ADHD do to those of us who are living with the condition as adults.
Growing up with this, I've had the fortune of meeting some really understanding friends... but it has proven a damn difficult task when meeting new people, especially those who I choose to become intimate with.
At this point, it sometimes seems like an unbearable task to ask someone to deal with, but because I can't foresee myself waking up one day without the impulsiveness, without the lack of focus, without the childish ways it brings, without popping a pill to control the neurons and bridge the synapses, without overdosing on caffeine, sugar, and endorphins, etc.
Pause for the cause................................ the tears flowing down my face are uuber distracting.
P
A
U
S
E
I initially stated out this post with the intention on writing about relationships, new relationships, intimate relationships, and those partners choosing to deal with the ADHD symptoms, complications, and frustrations. I have gone off the farm about it, but maybe I just needed to release the frustrations I am going through right now...
Maybe after the tears dry I can focus enough to say what I really am intending to... just right now, I am hurting, feeling as though I'm trapped my shortcomings and trapped by my feelings of being out of control of my own actions and reactions.
But, as I said, I shall revisit this whence I get it together.
while i wait, here are some twitter resources:
With all that being said, I am at a cross roads- let me preface this post by disclosing I have been drug free for almost 3 weeks, probably close to a month. I am not too sure where my head space is because I'm coming off an argument that was baseless... in regards to dishes, and in all honesty, prompted me to sit down and contemplate the idea of what does ADHD do to those of us who are living with the condition as adults.
Growing up with this, I've had the fortune of meeting some really understanding friends... but it has proven a damn difficult task when meeting new people, especially those who I choose to become intimate with.
At this point, it sometimes seems like an unbearable task to ask someone to deal with, but because I can't foresee myself waking up one day without the impulsiveness, without the lack of focus, without the childish ways it brings, without popping a pill to control the neurons and bridge the synapses, without overdosing on caffeine, sugar, and endorphins, etc.
Pause for the cause................................ the tears flowing down my face are uuber distracting.
P
A
U
S
E
I initially stated out this post with the intention on writing about relationships, new relationships, intimate relationships, and those partners choosing to deal with the ADHD symptoms, complications, and frustrations. I have gone off the farm about it, but maybe I just needed to release the frustrations I am going through right now...
Maybe after the tears dry I can focus enough to say what I really am intending to... just right now, I am hurting, feeling as though I'm trapped my shortcomings and trapped by my feelings of being out of control of my own actions and reactions.
But, as I said, I shall revisit this whence I get it together.
while i wait, here are some twitter resources:
