Reality at all is that Reality is What it is or What We Think it is

I’m sitting here watching SATC after having a monologue with my most recent manifestation in the shower, all playing out internally, an allusion of sorts.

The conversation stemmed from the overwhelming undercurrent of thoughts that I just want to be rescued; rescued from myself. The idea of being rescued by love, whimsical, fanciful, silly and overwhelmingly romantic love just seems so romantic in itself. Silly at this age, but romantic nonetheless. Take me away. Take me somewhere where love is like breathing. I don’t care where we go, long as I’m there with you.

But back to the imaginary conversation with the man. He once called himself Captain Save a Hoe. Despite my prior life having tendencies, my immediate response, “Thank God I’m not a hoe.” But anyway, we have known each other for long enough at this point. I have been privy to the lot of his sex-capades. We did a momentary thing, hence the conversation occurring in my mind. After mulling over things, I can only be his friend. I’d like to like him, but he’s dangerous. I can handle friend zone, but not friends with benefits, and at this point, not lover. There is not much I can offer of myself that I wouldn't want protected or given away freely. I can give care and concern as a friend, but I can’t play lover or part time or in between time, and even though I can look past promiscuity, the reality is that stepping out on someone you really love, then it can be done while with me. Not into finding out that I've given myself and the flip side with the emotions associated with infidelity.

 

But before I go deep end into my emotions and thoughts about this, I should find out if it’s warranted. Lol. I’m so in my brain, reality of the situation at hand sometimes doesn't really come to me until after it’s too late.

Randomocity in 3................2.......................1.........................:

Standards.

It’s been the hot word of the weekend. I've been asking myself what are my relationship standards? What do I determine as being important to set out the tone of relationships? I have been single so long, and not really into the game of dating, that I don’t know. I don’t really have rules, and have determined that might be the reason that I am still single. LOL!

I’d love to know, so I’m going to think about it as I create this magnificent meal of jambalaya stuffed chicken with sour cream and chive potatoes, dirty rice and spinach.